So I wanted to make a post about being vulnerable about my poetry. I truthfully don't know what to talk about. I’ll start by saying what poetry is to me.
Poetry to me is just a stream of consciousness that flows into a story.
Audrey Lord coined the term, “stream of consciousness” I read it in her book Sister Outside: Essays and Speeches.
However, this stream sometimes goes into magical worlds that I never knew possible.
And there are times when I'm critiquing my poetry, but people love the things that I write and I struggle with that sometimes.
I get compliments on how impactful and powerful my words are. But then I hear other people's poems and I think I'm not as good as them. Maybe it's the Imposter syndrome, or just being a part of being vulnerable. Having to dive into things that hurt or feel good or what I'm afraid to say. My whole life is a poem.
And I struggle with the confidence to speak in my own life. Because it means unveiling the pieces of myself that I'm afraid to look at. That I'm afraid to experience. It's not a terrible feeling, it's a very great feeling. Yet to be on that stage and have to express yourself and worry about how people receive it is a very scary experience.
Poetry is my safe space when I’m feeling the variety of emotions I go through. Nowadays I’m doing more to take care of that space. Rehearsing and publishing content. Speaking slowly so I don’t mumble my words. Creating a better presence and curating a space for poetry to flourish around me. Quiet as it’s kept. I don’t just consider myself a poet. I consider myself a writer. Poetry is truly one of my favorite outlets when it comes to writing. So I write a lot. When it comes to poetry, often my voice shakes. Because I have to be vulnerable with myself. I have to look at the darkest parts of myself to understand how to feel, what I feel, and how I convey this message to others. All the while considering how they’ll receive it.
It’s the scariest feeling in the world to me. This is because I’m still learning my sound in the craft. I’m still trying to respect other poets. I’m still trying my best to make sure I touch people with my words. And it’s hard. However,
I love the journey.
I love pushing myself to become better.
Poetry saved me.
So I do the work to take care of it.
Sincerely,
Donnie